On Americans in Amsterdam and the things we do not say out loud
I no longer get angry at systems and tools that come with a certain couleur locale. When you sit at a table with Americans, which in central Amsterdam happens more often than not these days, you listen to how we Dutch are supposedly direct and blunt, while our healthcare system is such a relief for the latest wave of refugees and buying a house is still cheaper than in New York.
Yes, yes. Sure, sure.
At the same time, as a blunt Amsterdammer, you find yourself thinking: why do these people talk so loudly, and why do they always have that exaggerated smile plastered on their faces?
You want to say something about how much better our healthcare system used to be before we also had to provide care and housing for part of the Middle East, but you do not want to sound populist.
You especially do not want to point out that this population pressure is largely the result of the many pointless wars the US started in the Middle East with “the greatest military force of all time,” without ever really winning any of them.
Americans are the most recent group of refugees, and when you try to understand why, you quickly arrive at a very compact philosophy: the previous refugees were fleeing Americans, and now Americans are fleeing for themselves.
We adapt easily. We have done so for centuries. Our best-kept secret is our hospitality. You would not guess it from looking at us, but it is there.
When we visit Americans, we just put cotton in our ears because of their noisy way of talking, and we try to fake a broad, ear-to-ear smile at even the most trivial things.
Although I am starting to find that rather exhausting. I am considering having a T-shirt printed that says: “Neutral Face. Laughing all the way to the Bank!”
They will especially pick up on the second part right away.